I am NOT Depressed
Sweetie, yazi sometimes you are not depressed, but instead oppressed by society to behave in a certain manner, to look a certain way, at your age to have achieved a certain something. That is when you think just because you have not yet caught up to society’s expectations you have failed. So you corner your mind and start manifesting these expectations and thereby making yourself feel unworthy in that environment, leading you to start spending time with just yourself so that no one can judge you. You use much of this time overthinking your choices. The choices that made you fall behind and not at the same level as your peers. These thoughts are what lead you to feel and believe that you are depressed because as much as you try to change your situation, nothing seems to work.
How do I know this?
I have been there, but it isn’t my defining moment. I won’t stop trying because I am afraid I will fail. Of course, I will fail; in fact, I want to fail at my first attempt so that I can reinvent and improve. Someone else succeeding before me will not take grain from my pot of rice, because only my hand is in that pot. Should I choose to spill it then it is on me; decide to share it then it is my decision; If I do not know how to cook that rice, I will ask for help. What I cannot do is believe that it’s over for me because someone else’s rice finished cooking before mine. I don’t know the type of heat they were using to cook it; how much water they added; or even know if they added salt or not.
Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying your story and my story are the same. I’m showing you that there is a way to feel less overwhelmed; that you don’t have to bite off more than you can chew. People who know me well know that I used to have bad skin. At some point, it lowered my self-esteem, but now I am actively working towards correcting this. Acne is not a flaw, but it is my choice to decide what I want to do about it. It’s no concern of mine how people treat me; I care about how I treat others.
The bottom line is:
We are all on different paths in this life. At some point they intersect but they do not remain parallel. Our end goals are not the same. I could be your blood sister and still not be going where you are going. I could be your soulmate but still not end up where you will and most importantly I could be your teacher but not be where you are from; could easily teach you things without knowing your background story and those teaching could be shaping where you are going. You are not useless and no one is too important to treat you badly. No one is too out of your league to learn from you or teach you.
Always remember the secret recipe works because it is kept a secret, so find your secret and keep it close to your heart. One day, once you no longer have a use for it, by Grace it will find its way to the next bearer. A successor. In the meantime, do not misdiagnose yourself. Do not rush to reach for goals that are not yours. Find you in everything you touch.